Skin picking is not a topic that many beauty influencers talk about. It’s not what you will see in most Instagram or TikTok videos about skincare, where perfect and flawless skin (thanks to filters) seems to be the trend.
But I know lots of people deal with skin picking (and lip bitting) – it’s definitely something that I’ve been struggling with in the past few years and something that used to make me feel bad about myself and my skin.
So here’s my story, how I changed my thinking about skin picking and a few strategies that may help you deal with it.
Let’s talk about skin picking
It’s more than just a bad habit — it’s a real mental health condition, it’s different from popping pimples because it’s compulsive. Very often it’s a way to deal with stress or anxiety.
Skin picking, or dermatillomania, is a complex behavioral disorder often classified under Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRBs).
You may not realize it yet, but skin picking may serve you as both a coping mechanism and a form of self-soothing, particularly in moments of stress, anxiety, or when you feel overwhelmed.
But the story doesn’t end there. After a skin picking session, we start to experience cycles of shame and guilt, which in turn… intensifies picking behavior! It’s like a cycle that feels super hard to stop.
It’s important to remember that skin picking can also occur without feeling the anxiety, and it’s not the same as anxiety disorders or OCD, although they can occur together1.
How is skin picking different from popping pimples?
Lets make it clear once and for all: skin picking is not the same as popping your pimples!
Popping a pimple is usually about clearing up a spot. But with skin picking, it’s more about feeling some texture when I touch my skin (usually face), a small bump or scab and it’s enough to start scratching and then it turns into a cycle that’s hard to stop.
My story
In the past 3 years my skin became an innocent victim of my anxiety disorder and often when my stress level goes up, I’m picking on my skin.
It doesn’t sound like usual fun and cute topic that we most often see on social media right?
Sometimes I could be doing it even without realizing it and only noticing what has just happened when it starts to hurt and when the skin is already damaged. And at this point it means:
- inflammation,
- broken skin,
- damaged skin barrier,
- more pimples,
- PIH and skin discoloration,
- … and feeling bad about myself, because I’m sabotaging my skincare and damaging my own skin.
So now you know why I’m always talking here and on my Instagram about soothing serums, calming moisturizers and skincare that focuses on fixing compromised skin barrier.
In the recent months I’ve been way more aware of my skin picking habit than I was in the beginning, but it doesn’t mean I’m completely free from it or that I’m not relapsing. And I know I’m not the only one with this problem…
And that’s why I’m writing this. Even when you go back to skin picking after longer break it doesn’t mean you failed and all the progress is gone!!
Don’t feel ashamed of it and never feel ashamed by how your skin looks.
Something that took me long time to understand: even after skin picking session, you’re still beautiful!
Skin picking can leave scars, marks, and redness, but those are just physical signs — they don’t change who you are, they don’t make you a worse person!
You are not your skin, you’re not your scars. Your value isn’t tied to having perfect skin (which doesn’t exist anyways!!).
And most importantly, don’t be afraid to ask for help. It’s not a shame to talk about it with a psychologist or psychotherapist. Don’t postpone it!
Strategies to deal with skin picking
I prepared for you a few strategies that can help break this cycle of skin picking. These are the strategies that I’ve been using to deal with both my anxiety disorder, as well as skin picking.
(But don’t think I’m perfect or complete “cured” – I still sometimes fail to use these methods. Dealing with skin picking and anxiety disorders is a constant work. Don’t let small fallbacks discourage you or put you in a self-shaming mode.)
1. Observe your behavior and be aware
The first step is understanding when, where, and why you pick. Carrying a small notebook or using a tracking app can help identify triggers (e.g., stress, certain times of day, or specific settings like being alone).
However, instead of using this log to “judge” your behavior, approach it with a compassionate curiosity. Remind yourself that tracking is for self-awareness, not punishment.
By noting patterns, you can spot this is empowering because it means you can start to work with these triggers rather than feeling at their mercy.
PRO TIP: Keep a journal or use a tracking app to record times you feel the urge to pick. Write down what you’re feeling in the moment, where you are, and any thoughts running through your mind. Look for patterns that emerge, such as “I often pick when I’m stressed” to find insights.
2. Develop grounding techniques for urges
The urge to pick often feels overpowering. Grounding techniques can help shift your focus from the urge to the present moment.
These practices reduce the compulsive urge by interrupting the cycle of picking with new habits.
5-4-3-2-1 Coping Technique
For example, try the “5-4-3-2-1” technique when you feel the urge2.
It’s a technique that helps to deal with anxiety and can be also helpful in the moments when you feel the urge to start picking at your skin (or hitting you lips, or pulling out your hair…).
Here’s how it goes:
- (5) name five things you see
- (4) name four things you can touch
- (3) name three things you hear
- (2) name two things you smell
- (1) name one thing you taste
This grounding exercise redirects attention to your surroundings, making it easier to let the urge pass.
3. Keep your hands busy with a substitute habit
Substitute habits give your hands a way to stay busy without damaging your skin. This approach replaces the compulsive action with something safer and satisfying.
You may choose to Cary with you a texture item or fidget toy, like a stress ball or a smooth stone, to keep your hands engaged.
PRO TIP: Make a “fidget kit” with small, textured items like putty, stones, or a worry ring. When you feel the urge to pick, reach for one of these items instead. Practice holding it, pressing it, or rolling it between your fingers until the urge subsides.
4. Use “surfing the urge” mindfulness
Instead of trying to resist the urge completely, acknowledge its presence, and try “surfing” it.
Imagine the urge as a wave that rises and eventually falls. By observing the urge without acting on it, you can learn that it doesn’t control you; it’s simply a sensation that will pass.
It might be helpful to practice meditation and mindfulness as this technique requires some practice. It takes time, but you’ll get better at it!
PRO TIP: Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and observe the urge as if you’re watching it from a distance. Notice where you feel it in your body and describe it to yourself. You might say, “I feel an itching in my fingers; it’s a strong pull”. Breathe and watch it until it begins to fade.
5. Build a self-compassion practice instead of shaming yourself or feeling guilty
Feelings of shame and guilt are common after picking. This can make it hard to approach the behavior with self-compassion, leading to a cycle of negative emotions and picking.
Learning to forgive yourself in the moment can reduce self-blame and create a kinder internal environment, which helps prevent the urge from intensifying.
What’s interesting, we often tend to be more compassionate to our friends, but more harsh on ourself.
So here’s a technique you can try: after an episode, speak to yourself as you would to a friend. You can say: “It’s okay. This is hard, but I’m learning to handle it. I’m working on it.”
This kind of self-compassionate statement is powerful for reducing self-criticism, which is crucial for breaking the habit over time.
6. Create “picking-free zones” in your environment
Certain environments are more triggering than others. If possible, designate specific areas as “picking-free zones”.
Make these spaces relaxing and welcoming so they become safe spaces where you’re less likely to pick. Adding relaxing items, like a cozy blanket, low lighting, or soothing scents, can be also helpful.
PRO TIP: Choose one room, like the bedroom, and make it a “no-picking zone”. Remove mirrors or cover them if they’re a trigger, and introduce a calming element, like a diffuser or ambient sound. This room can become a retreat whenever you feel the urge rising, helping you separate the behavior from a safe, calm space.
7. Turn your need for control into a positive practice
Skin picking can be a way to feel in control, especially during periods of stress. Consider other outlets where you can channel this need constructively, like organizing something small, doing a craft, or setting aside a few minutes for mindfulness or yoga.
There are a few “control rituals” that are productive, for example: organizing a drawer, journaling, or setting up a daily to-do list.
Redirecting the energy for control into a task that feels productive can satisfy the need without turning to picking.
8. Seek support and normalize your experience
It’s common to feel isolated with this behavior, but you’re not alone, and many people face similar struggles. Joining a support group, either in person or online, can provide a sense of community and reduce feelings of isolation.
Sharing with others who understand can ease the burden of guilt and encourage progress.
PRO TIP: Look into online BFRB (Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors) communities where people share their experiences and coping strategies. Alternatively, consider speaking to a therapist who specializes in BFRBs. Knowing you have others who relate and support you can be a significant motivator.
Final thoughts
Skin picking is a coping mechanism that developed for a reason, and managing it takes time and self-compassion. Remind yourself that recovery isn’t linear, and slips happen – they’re a part of learning and growth.
The more you approach your behavior with understanding rather than judgment, the more empowered you’ll feel to work toward positive change.
Feel free to check out my video on this topic on Instagram:
The author of this article does not accept any responsibility for any liability, loss or risk, personal or otherwise, incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, from any information or advice contained here.
Resources:
- https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/
- https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/